Elite Management

I’ve been doing some summer job hunting and last week I decided to respond to one of the adds I found on workopolis.

26 OPENINGS MUST BE FILLED THIS WEEK. Full time, immediate starts only. Summer work available. Call Julie 894-4525.

I noticed another add with the same phone number.

Circle Me! Due to huge expansion local wholesale company has immediate full time openings from office to warehouse. Students welcome. Call Amanda 894-4525.

I figured that I could handle a warehouse job for a couple months……

I’ve done some mind numbing work in my day including taping cabinets for 9 hours a day. So I gave them a call and got an interview for the next day at 3:00. The locations was 38 McBrine Place Unit 3, Kitchener Ontario which is a little far from upper Waterloo. Nevertheless I figured it would be a good bikeride. The next day I left fairly early since I didn’t know how long it would take to bike down there.

I got there a little after 2:30 and the first thing I noticed that it was called Elite Management and I didn’t see warehouse. I figured it must be an employment agency hiring for a different company. There was a girl all dressed up for an interview wondering around and she asked me if she was in the right place, as she had an interview at 2:30, but no one was there to interview her. She showed me the job posting she was applying to and I noticed that it wasn’t one I had seen. It advertised for 200-300 people needed and gave a weekly salary around $400. I also noticed the phone number was different than the one I had called. So we went on in to the place which was rather small and in one of those office strips.

After sitting for a while, a guy came out from the back and said he hadn’t realized we were here. He gave us a form to fill out with the normal information. After the girl was interviewed I went back for my interview. The guys name was Chris Hooker, and he was the owner of the place. He had an office with a couple leather chairs and a LCD monitor, nothing too expensive looking, more trying to emulate the expensive stuff. He described the job as marketing, wholesaling and warehousing and stressed that they were looking for good people with a good attitude. I asked about the types for products and he spewed off a list of companies including Sony, Disney, and Samsonite. He also said people hired would be involved in all aspects of the business, from warehousing to marketing. He didn’t give specifics about the actual job was, but said that he had interviewed 40 people that day and it would be 50 by the end of the day. At the end of the day he’d select several to come back and get to get a better idea of the business.

I biked home thinking the place was pretty sketchy and not really sure that I’d get a call back. I did a google search on “Elite Management” kitchener and only found a few more ads for the place. Then I decided to try Yahoo and came up with the following

Wow, I’m a job slut… so it’s been exactly 20 days since my last post – at that point I had no job. SINCE then I’ve HAD one job and now have ANOTHER job. Yes yes, I am now one of the “Employed” people – woo hoo. Fulltime and everything, at first I was working for “Elite Management”, sounds classy right? Then when you read the posting in the newspaper that says “an marketing/office opportunity that is tons of fun and not your typical 9 to 5″ also sounds pretty fucking sweet huh? OF COURSE IT DOSE – so when they actually called me back I almost shit myself and I was ubber excited and happy and all that junk until I realized that “Fun marketing office opportunity” = “Door To Door Sales for Less Than $5/hour” wow – was I pissed off about that shit took me a while because I was still thinking “it might get better” but my big-bro slapped some sense into me so I quit that on my third day – OH by the way did I mention that that $5/hour included driving my car as far as Aberfoyle, and Guelph, and Elora, and Elmira, and other butt-fuck towns in the middle of no where with a bunch of people I don’t really know or like in my car. MY CAR, the only thing I love more then Marz, being whored out to dirty solicitors – I wanted to puke!!

SO, now I put barbeque pieces into boxes on a line. This is the most laid back job I’ve ever imagined, My first day was a little rough and my second was easy, but today was seriously retardedly easy. I pick up a barbeque lid that’s beside the box on the conveyer belt, and then but it into the box beside where it was, also on the conveyer belt, and then wait about 10-15 seconds for the next one to make it to me. $7.25/hour – A nice slap of reality this job is after being a dirty fucking solicitor – no matter how much I shower I will never get that filth off of me. As long as I’m never a telemarketer I can still live with myself ( no offence to anyone reading this, I just hate you if you are a solicitor or telemarketer, don’t take it personally, I just hate you. I think I said it twice, and I think I’m to lazy to edit this)

So that confirmed the sketchiness off the place. And I sort of thought I wouldn’t get a call back, since based off my resume, I thought it is somewhat obvious that I wouldn’t be up for that type of work. But at around 6:00, sure enough I got a call back from Chris congratulating me on being one of the few selected to come back the next day. Having a bit of an idea about the job from the internet posting, I asked for more information. He gave me the “everything from warehousing to marketing” speech again so I asked him directly if it was door-to-door sales and he said that no they do not do door-to-door sales or telemarketing.

At this point I wasn’t sure if I was going to go back the next day. I was a long bike ride out there, and I was pretty sure that no matter what it was, I wouldn’t feel good about doing it. Even if I wasn’t the one doing the sales, I figured some poor suckers would be out there going door-to-door. But I had nothing else to do the next day, so I figured I’d at least check the place out again.

The next morning I woke up early and rode on out to Elite Management. I got there a bit early and some others showed up around the same time. They were all looked to be about my age or younger. A receptionist name Jenny was there and she had us fill out a paper stating that we understood that we were not employees of the place yet, and where not getting paid for this trial/learning day. After this we sat around the entrance waiting area. The question of “Does anyone know what they do here?” was raised fairly quickly. No one really knew any more than the marketing/wholesaling stuff they were told the previous day.

One girl mentioned that she had been at a place for three days “learning about the business” before they told her what product they were selling, and it turned out to be a vacuum cleaner. I mentioned seeing ads for Vector Marketing, which is Cutco knives. One of the guys thought Elite Management sold athletic gear/apparel and hoped they had a bunch of stores all over the place. The receptionist came out and we asked her what products they sold. She said she didn’t know and that she had just come from B.C. (B.C. was one placed mentioned as an expansion location). She did however assure us that it was not vacuums or knives.

By this point it was 9:15 and we were wondering what was taking so long. She said that they just got a shipment in, so they had to deal with that before getting to us.

So finally at 9:30 one of the “managers” came out. He explained that today they would match us up with one of the other managers and we would be taught about the business. Then at the end of the day (around 5:00), we’d be evaluated and we’d have an interview with Chris at which point he would decide if we were a good fit for the company. They were looking for people with good attitudes and good work ethic.

So I watched as two of the girls got matched up with a manager and walked out the front door. I noticed the manager had keys. One of the guys got matched up with a manager, once again they went out the front door with keys. Next I was matched up… with the receptionist who said she just got there a couple days ago and didn’t know what products they sold. That is some pretty fast advancement. So we walked out the front door and out to her car which had the back filled with a bunch of various boxes.

Receptionist/Manager: “So you wondered what products we sell. Most of them are 5 to 10 dollars, so they are easy to market.”

Me: “Where do you sell the products?”

Receptionist/Manager: “We sell to various business in the area.”

Me: “So is it door-to-door?”

Receptionist/Manager: “No, it’s business-to-business”.

Me: “Do the businesses know we’re coming?”

Receptionist/Manager: “Nope. Do you think you can do this?”

Me: “Nope”

So we said goodbye and I rode off on my bike. As I was leaving I saw her drive off smoking a cigarette. I also so another “manager” drive of with one of the new guys.

I can only assume that they went off to see their $5 – $10 products to some random businesses. But of course it is not “door-to-door” it is “business-to-business”, so maybe they got up and knock on a window first.

Below are the various ads I’ve found on workopolis which appear to be for Elite Manamement (Kitchener, Ontario)

Circle Me! Due to huge expansion local wholesale company has immediate full time openings from office to warehouse. Students welcome. Call Amanda 894-4525.

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1003479R]

CASH DAILY Office/Warehouse/Sales. $60-$100 a day. Advancement opportunity. Call Frank 894-4044.

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1347193R]

Sports Minded Individuals Looking to fill 15 positions. Training provided. Must work well with opposite sex. Call (519) 894-4044.

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1002866R]

26 OPENINGS MUST BE FILLED THIS WEEK. Full time, immediate starts only. Summer work available. Call Julie 894-4525

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1036442R]

Are You Ready? All positions available. Our company is extremely busy this summer. Must fill openings NOW! Looking for 15 hard working people. Will receive full company training. Students welcome. Call Nicole, 894-4525.

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1347171R]

COUCH POTATO!! Marketing firm needs managers, sales, customer services reps. We will train. Immediate openings, students welcome. Laura (519) 894-4044

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1034270R]

WAREHOUSE/OFFICE 10 full time positions available. to start A.S.A.P. call our office 894-4525.

[Originally published in The Record Ad# 1209340R]